Titles I Would Have So Owned, If I Wasn’t “Mom”

Titles I Would Have So Owned If I Wasn't (1)

Whether my kids believe it or not, at some point in time I was just Brittany, Britt, or “QueenBritt” (my rap alias, I was young…hold the jokes please). I wasn’t always making pb&j’s and scrubbing dishes you know, at some point in time I was the shizz (yea I said shizz, don’t judge me or try to guess my age). As much as I love my babies, I know I’m not the only mom out there that thinks about all of the stuff they might have done if they weren’t “mommy”.  So, here goes, here’s my list of all of the titles I probably would have had if I weren’t somebody’s mama.

“Gypsy.” I know you are thinking, “what?” but I’m serious, I could have so lived the gypsy lifestyle. Well, at least from what I saw on that show on TLC. Living without a care, partying like everyday, and wearing that little gypsy-esque band around my forehead…where do I sign up??

“Executive.” If I hadn’t chose motherhood over career, I believe that I would be running stuff somewhere. If nothing else, I would look really good in my skirts and killer heels. Plus, I’ve always wanted to have one of those gold name plaques on my desk. I still plan on owning this title, just a little later in life.

“Go-Go Dancer.” I mean I dance for free in my house everyday, so you mean to tell me that somebody will pay me to dance to my favorite songs?….uh, yea! Now, I think there’s like this small requirement that you actually have to know how to dance…good, but I mean really that’s just a small detail.

“Ballerina.” Okay so, I’ve only taken like two ballet classes in my life, but I was so freaking awesome at it, that I think I could have definitely went to Julliard. Granted, I took those classes when I was like 8 years old, but its like riding a bike, right? (Excuse me as I plie over to the couch).

“MTV Real World Contestant.” I used to love watching the Real World when I was younger, I probably was too young to be watching it when I did, but it was the O.G. of reality t.v. In my head, I would have made the perfect contestant…I knew how to party…case closed…put me on t.v. 

“Rapper.” Anyone who truly knows me, knows that at some point in my life I thought I was Lil’ Kim. I know I had the skills to be a hard core rapper (probably not), but at some point I loss those skills, and now all my rhymes sound like a cross between “Cat in the Hat”, and “Barney” (zero street credibility). 

“W.W.F. Wrestler.” Yes I know its W.W.E. now, but I would have been a wrestler back when it was in its prime, the good old days, of steel cages and ladder matches. Man, I would have been kicking yass, until somebody hit me back. Truth be told I’ve never even been in a fight before…but in my head I would have been a beast!

Hey, we were people before we were moms, so come on, what are some of the titles you would have owned before “Mom”?

23 Thoughts on “Titles I Would Have So Owned, If I Wasn’t “Mom”

  1. Hahahaha, I love this!

    Mine would have been Oscar winner, World traveler, Eccentric billionaire… I could go on, but I also think Mom is just fine.

  2. Hilarious! I love this! I would have owned a few of these titles too!

    Thanks so much for sharing and linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.

    Wishing you a lovely day.
    xoxo

  3. I would have owned the whole World Traveler, Reality TV star (total bestie to a Real Housewife), Beverly Hills Chihuahua Toting Chic Gal titles.

    Sorry, I only own a chiweenie who prefers coach pillows to tote bags. He is the diva in the house.

    Love the shoulda woulda coulda titles!

  4. 🙂 YES! In my mind I am still a rapper… OR in my SUV.
    Thanks for sharing with us at Mommy Monday!
    XOXO

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  17. Just found your blog via Turn it Up Tuesday. Hilarious! Following you everywhere 🙂 It would probably shock everyone I know now (but not everyone I knew way back in the day), that I also have a rap alias. I think everyone growing up in the DC area in the early 90’s did, but I’m not bold enough to share mine, though. It would probably shame my preacher husband 😉 As to what titles I would have owned… I would have been an Executive (I actually was one before I quit to stay home), a small business owner who turned her small enterprise into an empire like Martha Stewart (that’s still my plan), or the President (something to consider for later). Wanna be my running mate, QueenBritt?

  18. I think about the as a dad a lot! I might have been more of a Road Rules guy though!

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